Cemetery of Terror

Posted by Cory Casciato On May - 1 - 2009

cemeteryofterrorI’m fairly certain that Cemetery of Terror is the first Mexican movie I have ever seen. If it is indicative of the quality of the Mexican film industry, I am not sure there’s any point in ever seeing another.

Sloppy, confused and unintentionally hilarious, Cemetery is a haphazard mish-mash of plotlines and ideas stolen from other movies. My best guess is the director/writer saw poorly edited, bootleg versions of Halloween, Burial Ground: Nights of Terror and Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things — or perhaps just overheard some garbled descriptions of them in a crowded restaurant — and decided to combine them (and probably a few more that didn’t occur to me) into one big mess of a movie. The confused plot concerns a Satanic killer named Devlon, the psychiatrist that’s chasing him, six dumb teens (one of whom looks at least thirty) partying in an abandoned house, a bunch of prepubescent trick-or-treaters out for a night of stupidity, an impossibly detached police chief (who happens to be the father of two of the trick-or-treaters), an evil book that can raise the dead and a terribly unconvincing cemetery. The killer gets killed, but our doctor knows that isn’t the end and tries to convince the police chief of the danger. The dumb teens find the evil book in the abandoned house and decide to steal a body and resurrect it to impress/scare their dates (yeah, because what woman isn’t impressed by a stolen corpse?). During the ceremony it starts raining (in one localized spot only, of course) and they take off just before the corpse begins walking around. Then it’s slasherville as the reanimated Devlon takes out the teens. Then the trick-or-treating kids get to the cemetery (a local dude helpfully gives them a ride .. wtf?) just in time for some bad special effects to appear and zombies to rise, then the kids take refuge in the house, blah blah blah, doctor shows up, blah blah, evil book must be destroyed, blahty blah blah … until the inevitable twist ending (which actually is kind of amusing and does have a genuine, if nonsensical, twist).

As I implied earlier, this is not a good film. It is, however, a frequently (and unintentionally) hilarious film. The mullets; the bad acting; the heavily bearded, overweight “teen” that has to be ten years older than the rest of his friends; the bizarre Michael Jackson-embroidered jacket one of the trick-or-treating kids is wearing; the frantic overacting and obvious way many of the actors look offscreen for their cues; and so, so much more actually made this kind of worth watching for the badness. It’s not much of a zombie movie, since the resurrected killer is definitely more of a supernatural slasher than a zombie and the real zombies don’t show up until the last twenty minutes or so, whereupon they proceed to act vaguely menacing while being totally ineffective.  Come at it expecting a watchable movie and you’ll be sorely disappointed, but get a few buddies, get a little wasted and go all Mystery Science Theater 3000 on this bad boy and you’ll enjoy it.

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