I’ve decided to ask a few of my favorite horror bloggers and friends from the online community to share some of their zombie expertise with the site. The first guy I thought of was Jay Clarke, of the excellent blog The Horror Section. Over there, Jay blogs about everything from VHS box covers to the latest releases to horror games. He’s an excellent writer with an encyclopedic knowledge of horror. And he loves zombies, maybe almost as much as I do. He’s contributed a dream-team list of half a dozen zombie-killing badasses he’d want to team up with in case of apocalypse, and it is a fine list. Not all the heroes in the group above made it, obviously — you’ll have to click through to read who did, and why. Without further ado, here’s Jay.
A few months ago, while chatting on IM, Cory asked if I wanted to write an article for IZA. I was immediately flattered, but also a little woeful. Not only has the zombie sub genre been the subject of exhaustive conversation, but Cory has already posted hundreds upon hundreds of articles on said subject.Â So, what the hell could I possibly add to the table? It was getting that nugget of an idea that was the hardest thing about writing this article. So here it is. I am sure I am not the first one to come up with this, but it is what it is.
I’ve alluded to the fact on my own site that I spend a lot of time nine-to-five daydreaming about strategies in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I’d eventually start going through the people in my life, ranking how well they’d likely fare and how to meet up with them amongst all the chaos. While I was thinking about this article, I finally had an epiphany. Since I’m already talking about ifs, why do I have to align myself with real people? Why can’t I make up a dream-team of characters that I’d most want stand side-by-side with when the flesh eaters come knocking? Here be that list.
Peter (as played by Ken Foree in the 1978 film Dawn Of The Dead)
Being a SWAT officer, he knows how to handle himself in a fight. He’s also loyal and most importantly, remains calm and steely under pressure. Whereas the carelessness of Roger â€“ his partner of sorts â€“ led to his demise, Peter is always on top of things and thinking ahead. Not only has he dispatched countless undead, but also stood tall when his adopted stronghold was invaded by a biker gang.
Rick Grimes (from the comic series The Walking Dead)
Also an officer of the law, Grimes can defend himself and others. He’s been in the thick of a zombie occupation for a long time, and is in a constant state of awareness. While it is true he has endured more than most and has at times been on the brink of madness, he has persevered. That is because he is a natural survivor.
Todd Wainio (from the novel World War Z)
Wainio was an infantry man at The Battle Of Yonkers and one of the only people to get out of that tactical disaster alive. He is the one on the list with most experience killing zombies and has become an expert on the most efficient ways to dispatch them. Having been a squad leader in the long campaign to reclaim the United States, he is the most obvious choice for leader of the group.
Leon Kennedy (from the video game series Resident Evil)
Young, resourceful and highly trained, Leon would be a great asset to the group. He is also encountered many different strains of zombie viruses, so he is equipped to deal with countless scenarios. The sole reason I chose Leon over Chris Redfield is that most of the time we’d played Leon in the games, he was alone, where as Chris often had partners (Jill & Sheva) to watch his back. Based on that, I think Leon is superior.
Alice (as played by Milla Jovovich in the film franchise Resident Evil)
So as not to make this a boy’s club, I chose zombie ass-kicker Alice. Now, obviously Jill Valentine, Claire Redfield, Ada Wong or Sheva Alomar would have been good choices as well, but I’m quite partial to Milla. Alice almost borders on being a superhero, so I’d always feel safer knowing she was on point. Plus, there’s the whole angle of there being hundreds of her, if we need them.
Tallahassee (as played by Woody Harrelson in the film Zombieland)
Since everybody on this list is so serious, it would nice to add someone to lighten things up. Of course, Shaun (Simon Pegg) could serve that purpose as well, but Tallahassee has a bit more experience killing zombies and clearly shows a passion for it. With all of us together, I’m sure locating Twinkies would be an easy task.
I think the seven of us would make a good team, don’t you? The adventures that swarm around in my head while sitting at my desk would make Michael Bay pee his pants. Oh… and lastly. If anyone out there reading this is wondering why I didn’t include Ash from the Evil Dead films, it’s because I chose not to perpetuate the common misconception that they are zombie films. I love the guy more than most and he’d be a gas to have around, but I’m going to play the zombie purist on this particular occasion â€“ flame bait or no.
If you like the list, go visit The Horror Section and tell him. And while you are there, you can enjoy a very special non-zombie guest post from me, about my introduction to genre film in the early ’80s.