I can’t say I hated The Dead Pit. I definitely didn’t love it. Really, it was just a kind of goofy, forgettable, late-’80s throwaway that probably got played ad infinitum on Cinemax around 1991, thanks to some gratuitous nudity and a lot of the lead actress (that’s her on the right) running around in her underwear.
The girl in the underwear is our lead. She’s played by sort of a poor man’s Brooke Shields who can’t act at all — she can barely get through repeating some of her lines, much less making it sound natural. She was clearly chosen for how she looks in the underwear she spends most of the movie in rather than any skill acting. Anyway, she ends up in a mental institution after losing her memory. There, she sees an apparition of a creepy doctor that no one else can see. At least, no one but the people he murders! This goes on for roughly forever. Then, the doctor brings all the people he murdered back as zombies who proceed to fuck shit up royally in and around the hospital. It’s up to wannabe-Brooke and her meathead friend (who’s played by sort of a poor man’s Sean Connery) to stop the evil. Which they do with a fuckton of holy water, because holy water melts the zombies.
There’s some more to it than that, including a prologue that is annoyingly spliced with the opening credits, her moron doctor who knew there was a mad science/evil magician sealed up in the basement the whole time and a stupid, transparent twist that you should be able to see coming from the first moment it’s hinted at. But really, it boils down to this: a lot of this chick in her underwear (and a few seconds out of it!), some screaming, a few murders, a mob of zombies and then a mob of melted zombies. The end!
Pretty dull, but sort of watchable. Sort of.
No short again. Maybe this weekend…