The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse

You’ll have this same look after you watch Burial Ground

We’re approaching the halfway mark of the sixth annual zombie movie marathon and I’m happy to report that things are going fine. I fear I may have front-loaded the quality new stuff a little too heavily, so the back half might be a little painful, but what’s a zombie movie marathon without a little pain, right? That’s why god invented bong hits, anyway. Enough about the future, though, let’s look at the very recent past.

Dead Alive

Peter Jackson’s splatstick masterpiece satisfied as usual. Man, that fucking zombie baby is just the creepiest thing, too. That little bugger  earned his spot on my top ten zombie tots list, that’s for damn sure. Also, the best use of a lawn mower as a zombie killing weapon ever. Plus, it’s actually a pretty decent story and the characters have a bit of life to them. Indie zombie film makers, please take a lesson or five from this film when you go to make your own, okay? We’ll all be better off and I won’t have to suffer as much for future zombie movie marathon months.

Zombie Hunter

Remember what I said about low expectations in my last progress report? This movie is another perfect example. I was bracing myself for some deep hurting, but it turned out to be merely aggressively mediocre, so WIN! A bunch of no-name actors kind of mill around a low-key zombie apocalypse brought on by a drug called Natas (it’s Satan backwards, get it? SO SUBTLE!) and there’s a guy in a car with sort of a Mad Max vibe, only he has frosted tips, so he is impossible to take seriously. Danny Trejo plays an axe wielding priest (or guy pretending to be a priest, whatever) for like ten minutes, until some CGI thing takes him out (yeah, yeah spoiler alert, whatever — there’s not enough story here to worry about shit like that). It did have some stylized elements that were pleasant, and it moved along at a reasonable clip. I could even see myself watching it again. I wouldn’t go out of my way to do it or anything, but it’s not out of the question.

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

My love for this awful, awful movie is boundless. I can watch it any number of times, so I did. I don’t have anything to add to what I have already written, so if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the madness of this movie, try my original Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror review or perhaps my list of the top ten most insane moments from Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror. You could also check out my previous year ZMMM daily note on it. Also, you should watch it, because holy shit, what a lunatic movie.