First up, let me acknowledge that I am bad at math. Circa last progress report, I said seven movies left. No. It was eight. Numbers am hard. Ahem.
Anyway, here we are. The second to last progress report. Just four movies (yes, for real this time) left. I feel good. I love zombies. Everything is going according to plan! [Evil laugh]
Mass Acre Hill
I am 99 percent certain I have now watched the worst movie of this marathon, so there’s that. This deserves a spot on my worst-ever zombie movies list, honestly. Like many of the worst-ever zombie movies, it is Canadian and basically zero budget. The acting is nonexistent. The camera work and sound are abysmal — intolerable, really. It had an abundance of the worst CGI I have ever witnessed. What it did have going for it was a can-do spirit and the desire to be completely insane. So there’s that.
The plot, such as it is, concerns two crashed pilots, plus a drug-dealer/cult leader, and some zombies. Of course. It hardly matters, as it is just an excuse for dumb Canadians to wander around the woods covered in fake blood, for the most part. You can watch the damn thing yourself for 99 cents.
28 Days Later
The single most influential zombie movie of the past 20 years! I know the debate rages on among purists about whether this is really a zombie movie or not, but seriously, have you seen this? It’s clearly an attempt at a “realistic” zombie movie (i.e. giving a semi-plausible explanation for zombies, since dead people do not, in fact, ever get up and walk around) and a damn good one at that. Hell, the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake is basically a knock-off of this, with the semi-plausible Rage zombies thrown out in favor of traditional dead men walking (er, running). Anyway, got my wife to watch this one with me, making it the third ZMMM film she joined in on this time around — a new record!
Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies
The Asylum strikes again! It’s a alt-history retelling of the Civil War, with zombies. And Abraham Lincoln as a scythe-swinging badass. The plot gives us a bunch of zombies besieging a Civil War fort, and Lincoln is the only man who can deal with them (with the help of a few Secret Service agents). Apart from some sound issues, and the fact that it is mostly brain dead, it was pretty enjoyable. Don’t expect a lot and it’s a fun ride. I do recommend drinking at least three beers (or whatever your booze of choice is) and maybe two bong hits before proceeding, though. You’re going to need to shut off a decent portion of your brain for maximum effectiveness.
The Cabin in the Woods
Zombie redneck torture family fun! Sure, this is not a traditional zombie movie, but zombies play a big part, in both the aforementioned zombie redneck torture family and regular, flesh-eating horde forms. Love the meta horror of this film, and I am a huge Joss Whedon fan, so this was a real pleasure. Hadn’t seen it since it was in theaters, and this seemed as good a time as any to watch it again. If you somehow haven’t seen it, stop reading this nonsense and go check it out. It’s awesome.
Okay, that’s all for now. See you Friday with the ninth and final report!