The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse

Kind of hard to believe, but the site’s been around for just a touch more than eighteen months now. In that time, I’ve amassed more than 600 posts and almost a thousand comments on said posts (thanks for the feedback!), all of which means, if you’re new, or don’t visit the site on a regular basis, you might have missed some cool stuff. And the last thing I would want is for you to miss some cool stuff, especially if it was cool stuff I wrote, so I’ve gone back and compiled a list of the top ten posts on the site since its humble beginnings in February 2009. Without further ado, here are those posts…

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Original photo by Clark Mackey

It’s time for poll results. Actually, it’s well past time, because the two open polls have been running for quite a while now — one since last November! Sorry about that — I get busy. Freelance writing isn’t really a terribly lucrative profession — in order to keep the bills paid, I have to work a lot. Anyway, enough about my poor, suffering existence. Let’s talk about zombies! More to the point, let’s talk about what you fine people like best about the zombies and are looking forward to in the zombie realm.

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The moment I saw this shirt, I knew it was this week’s Fashion Zombie pick. It’s titled “Every Night I Have the Same Dream” and I love zombie dreams. Plus, it’s a comic, on a shirt! How can you go wrong?

It’s yet another Threadless design, but I assure you, I am not unduly favoring them. They just have a fuckload of awesome shirts. This one is $20, a bit over my preferred price range but I may have to make an exception for reasons of undue awesomeness. There’s more to the story, too — you can see the back of the design below, plus an image of the shirt on a model.

I’m attempting to assemble an all zombie-themed wardrobe. Fashion Zombie is my weekly post detailing the coolest zombie-themed clothes and accessories I can find. Check back every Monday for another look at the hottest zombie apparel.

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In director Jake West’s Doghouse, we follow a bunch of loutish men to a tiny, out-of-the-way village, where they hope to carouse and help one of them, Vince, get over his fresh, new divorce. From this not-terribly-zombie-sounding premise, things quickly progress into familiar (for readers of this site, anyway) territory: violent, bloody mayhem explodes within moments of pulling into the town, as they discover that for some reason all the women there have gone insane and are murdering and feeding on the men. Cue Hall and Oates “Man Eater”!

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Today’s feature is a guest post from Camiele White, of StarCostumes.com. I neither endorse nor take credit for anything she says here, although I agree that Shaun of the Dead is fucking awesome.

I’ve always been a fan of legitimate zombie flicks. Though I’m a sucker for the classic Romero, I can’t help but get excited when I see a preview for a film with the mindless, brain-hungry undead as the unyielding antagonist. However, as of late, there hasn’t been much in the way of this classic horror genre that has excited me enough to pay $9 and sit in the middle row of a crowded cinema.

And then there was Shaun of the Dead.

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Thirty days, thirty movies: done. It all ended last night with Cemetery Man. If you aren’t familiar with the movie, the quickest summary I can give is its Italian title Dellamorte Dellamore, which translates to Death Love. It is a movie about death and love, with lots of zombies. It’s also beautiful (visually and otherwise), funny and damn strange.

I really want to do an in-depth review/critique/analysis of this film in the near future, so I will keep my remarks here brief. First off, if you haven’t seen this movie, put it at the top of your must-see list. Even if you don’t love it (and I think most of you will) it is an important film, both within the zombiesphere and within the larger context of “important” films. Hell, even if you think it is dumb as fuck (and it’s possible, though wrong, to interpret it that way) there is a whole lot of the gorgeous Anna Falchi nude in it (I’ll put a non-revealing nude picture of her below, for those who are curious), and arguably it’s not even gratuitous nudity since it ties closely into the plot.

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There are pleasant surprises and unpleasant surprises and Dead of Night 9also known as Deathdream, among other names) was one of the pleasant ones. I have to admit, when I saw it was created by the team of writer Alan Ormsby and director Bob Clark, who also wrote/directed the execrable Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things, my heart sank. All the more pleasant then when this turned out to be such a good film!

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Folks, this movie is the stuff that Cinemax was made for. The Vineyard is cheap, tawdry and dumb, barely more than an excuse for lots of gratuitous nudity and sleaze and a little bit of gore (a very little bit, unfortunately).

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Here we have another zombie cop movie. But this zombie cop is also a Maniac Cop! And by maniac cop, I mean a cop that kills people randomly, for no good reason. Well, he has a good reason to kill a few of them. The rest, not so much. See, maniac!

This movie is chock full of genre vets. Bruce Cambell, Tom Atkins, Richard Roundtree top the list, but there are others you can pick out if you have a sharp eye and a good memory for character actors. It’s directed by William Lustig, who also directed Uncle Sam (review here). Both that movie and this one are basically slasher movies with a zombie as the slasher. This one also mixes in some standard cop movie tropes as well.

It’s kind of hard to tell if the maniac cop is a zombie or not. They never use the word, but he can take multiple bullets without flinching, is cold, doesn’t have a heart beat and survives a serious impalement pretty easily. Sounds like a zombie to me.

I didn’t think much of this, but I definitely enjoyed it more than Uncle Sam. It wasn’t great, but it certainly wasn’t bad. And hell, it’s worth watching for the cast alone!

The world needed a buddy-cop zombie movie and it got Dead Heat. Now it thinks maybe it would like its money back, because Dead Heat is kind of a stinker.

It amazes me that movies like this get made. Someone read this script and said, “Yeah, that’ll do.” Someone auditioned Joe Piscopo and Treat Williams for the leads and went, “Yeah these are our guys! What amazing non-chemistry they have!” (Okay, they probably didn’t think that last part.) How does this happen?

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